I'm a Dogist

There are lessons for living that we can learn from dogs. Our canine friends are always honest and open. They take pleasure in simple things. They don't waste time regretting the past. They don't worry about the future.

On the other hand, they enjoy drinking from toilets. I think the key here, as with most things in life, is taking the good and leaving the bad - and being able to differentiate between the two.

When I was in the military, I had "Dogist" stamped on my dog tags in the place where your religion is supposed to go. When I was questioned about it, I said "Sir, if I can't eat it or hump it, I piss on it". 

Some of those senior Marine officers have no sense of humor.