Saturday, March 21, 2009
Gathering Protein with a .22
During the survival portion of military flight school, we were taught that accurate .22's, preferably equiped with optics and suppressors, are wonderful tools for collecting protein.
We were also taught to rethink our cultural food prejudices.
Since then, I've amused myself in a wide variety of places and circumstances by visualizing what sustenance could be unobtrusively procured with such a tool.
Today's list comes to you after an early morning stroll on Miami's South Beach:
1. Doves. A delicacy broiled with a slice of bacon and a jalepeno toothpicked on top.
2. Seagulls. Charles Lindbergh ate one when he was floating around in a liferaft and said it was awful, but it saved his life.
3. Cats. Don't know for sure, but I'd wager they're not too bad.
4. Tourists. An especially plump, tender, moist, pink one was overheard desiring a soda and a donut for breakfast, but not wanting to walk too far for it. That'd be some good eatin'.