How Far will Amoral Ambition take a Guy?

When I was a Lieutenant of Marines, this guy was a Major in the same squadron. One of the most unscrupulous, Machiavellian people I have ever known, willing to use up subordinates, back-stab contemporaries, and tell superiors anything they wanted to hear. He would have sold his grandmother into sexual bondage to get ahead.

After I left the service, I don't think I ever gave him another thought. But I just read today that he's "Obama's favorite general". I'm at a loss.

There was a time when I thought Generals were demigods, with some sort of wisdom beyond ours.

And speaking of amoral ambition, there's Hillary sharing the photo op....

Honey Bees

Almost all the bees in a hive are female, and only one of them, the queen, is sexually mature. These two hives came from Vermont. So most of the occupants aren't just immature females, they're liberal immature females consumed by righteous anger who don't shave their armpits. Every fall they evict all the males to starve and freeze. Sometimes they kill their queen and commit mass suicide. Sometimes half of them just up and leave. On their best days, they ignore me. Sometimes, for no discernible reason, they come boiling out on a mission to inflict pain. More than once my neighbors have seen me running around the yard screaming like a little Japanese girl being chased by Godzilla.

The advantage of pain-based training is that the learning curve is steep. The Department of education should station liberal Vermont girls with armpits that make them look like they have Gary Busey in a headlock in every classroom, to stab kids who make mistakes with little syringes of burning venom. Those delinquents would be ready for Princeton by about seventh grade. I don't know, maybe that's how China and India are churning out all those scientists and engineers while our kids major in 'Black Studies' and 'Gender Issues'.

Anyway, my experience with these hives combined with a careful reading of Winnie the Pooh has convinced me that bears are the predators that most of their defenses have evolved in response to. Anything that reminds them of bears sets them off, like "furry" clothing (sweaters or fleece), dark colors, rough handling and nocturnal prowling. When you mess with bees, wear smooth-textured fabric in light colors, do it close to high noon, and try to move like fluid.

If you open a hive at night, everybody's home and perturbed about being bothered after working hours. If you open a hive on a warm sunny day, most of the workers will be off gathering, and the nurse bees left at home will be relatively mellow. Even so, keep it brief. Bees are like snapping turtles and ex-wives: if you mess with them long enough, they'll find a way to get you. Plus, bee brood is sensitive to chills and dehydration. Instead of examining details in person, maybe take photographs that can be magnified and perused at your leisure.

Anyone Else Getting Nervous?

Have threats to freedom been exaggerated in order to restrict freedom?

Are police powers being expanded for the pubic good?

Is an ignorant electorate enthusiastic about national socialism?

Is there a movement to disarm the citizenry for it's own safety?

Are we "bringing peace and democracy" to foreign countries that purely coincidentally happen to have, oh, I don't know, maybe lots of oil?

Are there truths you hesitate to speak because politically correct informers at work might turn you in?

Have we been trained to meekly line up and show our papers for things like travel?

Have you so been conditioned by intrusive regulations that you now obey even ridiculous laws?

Welcome to Germany in the 1930's.

Gear that Works: Swedish Reflector Oven

Reflector ovens are designed for baking on a fireplace hearth or by a campfire. I've also had good results propping one against the metal side of my wood-burning tent stove. It doesn't seem to matter if they're shiny or dark, so don't bother polishing them, as some people advocate. Think of them as "trapping" heat rather than "reflecting" it.

My folding Boy Scout reflector oven is a flimsy, frustrating piece of junk. An antique we own is sturdy but bulky. My favorite is from Sweden, made by a fellow named Svante Freden. I bought it here:

http://www.bensbackwoods.com/servlet/Detail?no=285

It's an ingenious folding design, and his workmanship is outstanding. It's replaced my Dutch oven for almost everything but car camping. It's far lighter, and doesn't require coals - in fact, it prefers flames. It's the perfect size for a nine-inch pan. Biscuits or a bannock are ready in about ten minutes.

Svante Freden was kind enough to post plans for anyone who would like to build their own. Just Google "Do It Yourself Svante Freden foldable Reflector Oven". I've been thinking about building a large, non-folding version that could double as a food storage container, with a wooden cutting-board lid. I have no illusions about being able to match his quality of construction, though.

The Politically-Correct Term for Beavers

On a canoeing website, a thread about beavers and beaver dams of all things became quite heated and personal. Thinking that it needed an injection of levity, I posted that the word "beaver" was now considered pejorative, and that the politically correct term was "vagina squirrel".

Not only did exactly no one appreciate the joke, but I was soundly excoriated for "foul language", and told never to post anything that shouldn't be said in front of wives and mothers.

Do those people realize that their wives and mothers have those V-word things? What do you suppose they call them? Do their mothers say "Doctor, will my bearded love oyster need an episiotomy?" Do their wives say "Children, it's time we discussed the cave of wonders"?

My new favorite walking stick:

Is a blowgun. Although a casual observer wouldn't know it. There's a chair leg protector on the bottom (removed before shooting, of course), a wrist lanyard and a cloth-tape grip.

My curiosity about blowguns was piqued when a friend told me about killing a feral cat with a heart/lung shot from one. I had no idea that they were capable of such a thing without, you know, curare or poison frog juice or something. I have an interest in primitive weapons, but didn't know much about this type. My extensive experience shooting beans through straws in elementary school probably led me to write them off as toys. Took a more serious look at the adult equivalent and was amazed at the accuracy and velocity of blown darts. Those of .40 or .50 caliber might not be suitable for taking game, but larger diameters emphatically are. A dart going right through something the size of a cat was not a fluke.

Amused myself on a rainy day experimenting with different lengths of 1/2 inch inner-diameter conduit, which is actually about .62 caliber. A friend of mine has a Creek Indian blowgun, and that's about what it's bore is. Five feet seems like the minimum length for good velocity, six is better. Optimum likely varies depending on your lung capacity. Ideally you should probably run out of air just as the dart exits the muzzle. A mouthpiece is necessary, you just can't get enough oomph behind a projectile without one. Easy enough to fabricate from wood with a drill and a little whittling.

Tried a few variations on darts, like nails through pieces of foam and long wood splinters with the aft end wrapped in cotton. (Our southeastern Indians seem to have used primarily locust wood and thistle down, although I also found references to mulberry and white oak with feathers and rabbit fur.) My best by far were made with bamboo skewers from the grocery store, with paper cones super-glued to their bases. Also made some more durable plastic cones by heating an appropriately cone-shaped piece of brass on top of the wood stove and pressing it into a milk jug. Finally decided to save myself time and trouble and bought a variety of manufactured darts online, along with a commercial five-foot .625 blowgun. Money well spent, although the experimenting was fun and now I have the knowledge to improvise both darts and gun.

Steel darts with flattened tips - like miniature broadheads - are probably best for non-flying, non-burrowing critters on the ground. Very consistent and therefore accurate. They easily penetrate quarter-inch plywood, and after a little practice are accurate enough to hit cans consistently at ten to fifteen yards. They penetrate a little too well sometimes. It's difficult to pull them out of a tree without pliers, and it's easy to pin a squirrel to a trunk high enough to make retrieval difficult. They tend to zip through practice targets and continue on to parts unknown, leaving their plastic cones behind. Something like a phone book makes a good backstop.

Haven't shot anything live with the blunts, but they're good for target practice, and surely they have some hunting utility. At least you wouldn't worry about a skewered bird flying off for the bunny-huggers to find, especially since every dart automatically has your DNA on it. And they're easy to carry in a pocket. They hit with a pretty impressive thud and easily punch through two layers of corrugated cardboard. They'd be a fun way to train the neighbor's dog not to poop in your yard.

Bamboo darts are my all-around favorite. They penetrate squirrels, but not trees. Their length helps prevent chipmunks from scrambling down holes before they expire, and birds from flying off. A lot of the ones I bought were warped, but even those still fly well enough for practice and plinking. The straightest ones can be reserved for more serious targets. The shafts are biodegradable, and no worries about hitting one with the lawn mower. They float, which opens up some interesting target practice opportunities that won't result in lost, broken or even dulled darts.

There are some videos on YouTube of a guy using explosive darts made by taping two percussion caps back-to-back and then super-gluing them to the tip of a metal dart. He was blasting some fairly impressive holes through plywood. Looked like a really fun way to lose an eye - there's no telling where such a dart will rebound.

There are also videos of a guy shooting bluegills in shallow water. He ties a fifteen-foot length of fishing line from his wrist to the dart and loads from the muzzle. Looking forward to trying that when the ice melts. (If you shoot fish, remember to aim low because of the refraction of the water.)

If you look at photos of aboriginals shooting blowguns, you'll notice that they usually hold them in a way that at first seems odd, with both hands, palms up, right in front of the mouthpiece. Trying it made the reason apparent: by holding it that way, you are much less likely to move the muzzle inadvertently when you exhale forcefully. My accuracy decreases dramatically if I hold it like a rifle, with one hand further down the tube. Keep both eyes open and center the target between the two "ghost images" of the muzzle. Use your diaphragm for an explosive puff - it's even good exercise. Hold a spare dart between your fingers like the hunter above for a quick reload.

For gathering protein,a large-bore blowgun isn't quite in the same league as a .22 pistol, but not as far out of it as you probably think. And a lot less likely to attract unwanted attention. They're so quiet that sometimes a missed wee beasty will stick around to give you a second chance. Besides, you can use it as a tent pole, or to breathe your fire to life without getting down on your hand and knees in the mud and smoke. I'm trying to come up with a way to further constrict the flow of air for the latter purpose, perhaps a piece of metal tubing that will friction-fit over the muzzle and can be hammered partially closed.

The downsides are limited range, projectiles that are sensitive to wind, and being somewhat unwieldy to transport. The latter flaw could be obviated with a take-down model. You could probably take a two-piece, uh, hiking staff on a public bus to, ah, feed the pigeons in the park without anyone raising an eyebrow.

They're good fun, even indoors. You'll be a hit with your kids and your kid's friends. A simple stroll now becomes a hunt, with the attendant increase in awareness and purpose. It might be a productive way to pass time on a deer stand without alarming the big game, too. Seems like every year I get squirrels almost sitting on the barrel of my rifle.

Haven't figured out a good way to carry pointed darts yet. A leather belt quiver might be most practical. Commercial blowguns come with convenient built-in clips, but then there goes the pretense of a hiking staff. I like the idea of "urban camouflage" for a variety of reasons. Blowguns are banned in the People's Republics of Taxachussettes and Kalifornia, so it's about the only viable option for you poor guys other than voting with your feet and moving to a free state.

Encasing a six-foot length of conduit completely in wood might be a fun project. Rip a 2x2 down the middle, cut channels with a router table and a half-round bit, then epoxy it all together and shape the outside. The top of the "hiking staff" could be carved as a mouthpiece. An inch or so of the conduit could protrude beyond the wood at the muzzle and be covered with a chair leg protector. It would take a close inspection for someone to figure out it's primary purpose, and the increased heft would be conducive to a steady hold and good follow-through.

*This seems like a better way to make darts, from an old issue of Mother Earth News I just came across:

"To make the darts, all you have to do is lay one of the empty milk jugs on its side, and with the propane torch set at a low flame, carefully heat an area about the size of a quarter until the plastic turns clear. Then push the pointed end of the plumb bob into the soft spot and hold it there until the dimpled area clouds. Make several rows of cones in this manner (leaving a bit of room between each), and cut the dimpled wall from the jug. You can use a short piece of scrap tubing to separate the cones from the rest of the sheet. Just bevel one end of the conduit to a sharp edge, then place the plastic-points up-on your wooden block. Center the tubular cutter over each cone to be removed, and give the back of the tube a smart rap with the hammer.

Once you've freed a number of cones, it's easy to make darts out of them by pushing nails or wire stubs through the pointed ends from the inside. A dab of silicone sealant or clay set behind the metal will serve the threefold purpose of securing the point, sealing it, and giving the dart some necessary weight. A bit of research will help you to determine which combination of points and putty works best - though we're partial to drywall nails backed with silicone."

And a couple references to Cherokee blowguns:

"...turkeys, geese, ducks of several kinds, partridges, pheasants, and an infinity of other birds, pursued only by the children, who, at eight or ten years old, are very expert at killing with a sarbacan, or hollow cane, through which they blow a small dart, whose weakness obliges them to shoot at the eye of the larger sort of prey, which they seldom miss." The Memoirs of Lt. Henry Timberlake, pages 71-72

"The common killing range for small game is 40-60 feet. The Cherokee cane blowgun...is 9-10 feet in length and throws a dart of 21 inches length, having a piston of thistledown. The Cherokee stance is to hold the cane with both hands near the mouth, not with one hand extended forward as does (some other shooters)." Speck; The Cane Blowgun in Southeastern Ethnology; American Anthropologist N. 9, vol. 40, 198-204

Where to put money now?

Next time there's a bear market, I'm probably just going to keep things really simple and put what's left of my retirement all in an index fund. What to do in the meantime is the problem.

Nothing constructive has come to me, but here's a summary of my random ramblings:

The stock market has doubled in the last 3 years and is just coming down from an all-time high. Seems like a good time to get out, not a good time to get in.

Precious metals likewise would have been good three years ago, but are also at an all-time high.

Serious inflation is at some point inevitable unless we stop deficit spending, and there's absolutely no indication that we will.

That makes debt a good thing IF you have an income that will keep pace with inflation. I don't have that.

A devalued dollar will favor companies who export, and hurt those who import. Trying to find export stocks, though, makes you realize how little the US exports these days. Apple would have been a great one last year. The whole world wants iPhones and iPads. But their stock is way up, too - another boat I missed.

Long term, oil and food prices are going to increase dramatically now that there are over 7 billion people on the planet. I just can't quite figure out how to invest in energy and food, though. Farmland?

Real estate and mortgage rates are low, BUT the ruling elite need money, and property owners are their bitches any time they want to raise taxes.

My Budweiser buddy says buy booze stocks - when times are good, people drink. When times are bad, people drink.

My banker neighbor says "tangible goods" that are not easy to manufacture and won't become obsolete or spoil and are easy to store are good investments, but what exactly are those? Gold is the obvious answer, but as pointed out above, that ship has sailed.

What will people want in the future that they can't make, that won't rot or go out of date, and that can be compactly stored?